Useless Software for Mac and PC

Here you’ll find some Very Useless Software, the best wonders on offer in the World, those apps which make a huge difference to the user by their uselessness. Most of these apps are available for iPhones, iPads, Macs, and any other device, including PC. Some of these apps are more useless than others, but let’s admit that the usefulness of the apps is rather relative to the one using it, as most of them have been created to be fun, and nothing else. Thus these apps are not useless at all, because they are fun!

Useless Software

Beisdes, an app which is perfectly useless for you may be really useful for another user. For example, a Xmas tree app which decorates your screen can work as a perfect look for your computer for the winter holidays. And the MoonSaver you install as your main screen saver can follow the position of the moon each day and thus be very useful to an astronomer.

Anyway, these relatively useless apps have a clear purpose to entertain people and to remind us not to take everything too seriously.

You can find online any of these “useless apps” by using your search engine. All of them are free to download. In some cases we insert a link to a specific app, but unfortunately, they have the tendency to go away from time to time, so we are not to blame if a link is broken.

Let’s start:

Lonesome Electric Chicken

this curious app spews forth philosophical snippets of wisdom which was developed by J Schilling. It occupies a few hundred kilobytes and doesn’t need many resources to work. The app features a graphic image of a chicken and shows around seventy different quotes from various sources. The developer of this little program did not intend for it to do very much else. Quotations in the chicken pile have been taken from a variety of sources, including Nietzsche. The author himself specified that the Lonesome Electric Chicken is a “time and life wasting application”.

EarthquakeX 1.1

This app allows the user to experience fully-customizable on-screen earthquakes on his or her Mac. In fact is a port of an old prank control panel for System 7 called Earthquake. This app, when installed, will cause your Macintosh experience random earthquakes. The old version, being a control panel, allowed the user to set the quake frequency, duration and Richter level. The EarthquakeX 1.1 version acts more like an extension. With this version, user control over the quaking is not allowed. If you double click the EarthquakeX icon, it will look as if nothing has happened. But after a few seconds, your Mac will experience a tremor. If you wish to quit EarthquakeX, open up a Terminal window and type: killall QUIT “Earthquake” If the tremors continue and the solution doesn’t work, choose “Log Out” from the Apple menu, then log back in. In fact, you can change the frequency of the tremors, if you know how to use the Terminal. On the Mac where EarthquakeX is installed (make sure it isn’t running!), open a terminal and type in: defaults write com.stimpsoft.earthquakex quakechance -integer [%percent]; Where it says [%percent], put the percent with which a quake can happen. There is a chance for a quake every ten seconds. So for example, if you typed in “defaults write com.stimpsoft.earthquakex quakechance -integer 50;”, there will be a 50% chance of a quake every 10 seconds. The default chance for a quake is 30%. Earthquake was originally created by Marco Carra of SlimyFrog Software in 1994. When you get tired of earthquakes, just desinstall the app (or let it hide in the background, it will be silent till you doubleclick its icon). You may redistribute the application as you see fit, without notification to its author, as long as no fee is collected.

Heart Monitor

 This app places an anatomical heart on the desktop of your computer. The heart will beat faster or slower depending on the activity of the Mac’s processor.

PowerOrgasm X

Well, when installed on a Mac, this application gives the machine the climax of its life whenever the power cord is plugged into it.

You can learn more about the apps above, as well as about other useless ups by visiting the Website: http://www.jschilling.net

Here come some other system pranks which our readers sent us to add to the list:

Alien Communicator

 If you want to find the truth our governments hide from us, you better start contacting aliens right now. When you run Alien Communicator tool, aliens will be able to communicate telepathically with you and leave messages by controlling the number generation capabilities of your machine (Mac or PC).

Voice Lie Detector

If you think your partner or your kids are not completely sincere, you certainly need a lie detector. This program uses an old algorithm to detect voice stress, an unmistakable signal that will enable you to discover if you’re being lied to. Well, it may not work very well, but your husband may get scared and admit his sins before you start this app. Learn more: http://www.lie-detection.com

Parrot Trainer

 So you have a parrot, but can’t be bothered to train it by yourself? Let this app do the hard work for you! Parrot Trainer repeats the same sound over and over again until your parrot learns them by heart. According to the developer, you can also use to nag your kids, husband, wife… What’s more, it comes with four sound samples recorded by the developer himself.

Fake Progress Bar

In fact, this app is useful, if you work for a big company and your boss likes to control your actions. It displays a customizable fake progress bar with which you can fool anyone into believing your computer is busy. The Fake Progress Bar assures a fully configurable spoof progress bar for your desktop. Make it look like your machine is doing something – while you do something else! Features include fully cutomizable titles, icons, buttons, speed and progress messages. Well, we all need to take a break off work from time to time, but if your boss doesn’t understand this need, you may want to use this app. Now. To learn more: https://www.digitalvolcano.co.uk/other.html

Ultrafobos

 Another app that can become really useful. This app can help you get rid of mosquitoes, by making your computer emit a sound signal at certain high frequencies during the night. These sounds are supposed to be annoy mosquitoes and flies, and scare them away from you. But you may prefer buying a spray or an anti-mosquitoe creme…

Mousotron

Mouse and Keyboard Usage Measurement. This app allows you to find out how many miles does your mouse cursor travel each day, how many mouseclicks did you do or even compare your mileage with other people, by aploading those scores online and comparing them to those achieved by others. So Mousotron is a mouse and keyboard activity monitor. It keeps statistics of your mileage. It’s like an odometer or tripometer for your mouse cursor. The application calculates just how far your mouse cursor has traveled on the screen and how many times the mouse buttons were clicked. It also counts the number of keystrokes on your keyboard. You can learn more about mousotron here: http://www.blacksunsoftware.com/mousotron.html.

Clippy

We’ve all had nightmares with the clip-shaped assistant in Microsoft Office, but apparently there are people who miss him and want him back. If you’re one of them you can always install this app and enjoy a customizable version of Clippy that stays on your desktop and talks to you every now and then. It works on both PC and Macs: http://www.rjlpranks.com/pranks/clippy.

HypnoTrainer

This application teaches you the basics of hypnosis: the ability to focus one’s attention. The developer describes it as more than just “a simple circling spiral” and warns us that this is not a toy, so bear that in mind and don’t blame us for the consequences of hypnotizing yourself.

Airplane Factory

Another not so useless software. A perfect program for those are into paper airplanes. This app helps you design paper airplanes on your computer and decorate them with decals and insignia. Then you only have to print them out, build them and enjoy the flight. Your kids will be impressed – paper-airplane-factory.en.softonic.com.

Neuro Enhancer

According to the developer, this scary tool helps the user program your mind by means of subliminal messages. It features several self-help modules to enable you to fight anxiety, stress, obesity and more. The application has twenty two different self help modules. Everything from anxiety relief to weight loss. It will run seamlessly in the task bar, just start it up, select a module, hit go and minimize it to the tray. Set it and forget it. Well, we are not sure how subliminal messages can help people reach peace of mind, but this useless software might act as a placebo:  www.soft14.com/Home_and_Education/Health_and_Nutrition/Neuro_Enhancer_7332_Review.html.

See also:

  • Instead of cluttering your home with old electronics, trade unwanted gadgets in for cash or discounts. Trade in your old and useless devices for top cash: Sell used electronics online now!

Comments

This post currently has one response

  • Not everyone in the IT community agrees with this hunch. Many programmers suggest humor can hazardous to their research, but in my opinion this point of view is a largely inherited disease from the distant epoch when scientists were hunted by witch-hunters. I like you humor and I like your texts. Keep going!!!

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