Jokes about Apple, some of them hilarious

Hundreds of jokes about Apple products can be found when you browse the net. Some of the Apple jokes we find hilarious, even though we are Apple’s fans. We just think a little humor kills no one, so we have chosen some of these jokes for you, and we hope that they will make you laugh out loud. We will add other jokes regularly, so we invite you to drop by from time to time and check if we discovered other treasures for you.

Jokes about Apple

  1. Question: How can you tell which one of your friends has the new gold iPhone?
    Answer: Don’t worry, he will let you know.
  2. (Well, this joke and two jokes that follow are a somewhat macabre joke, but as the comrade Mao said, let all the flowers blossom. Anyway, Steve Jobs didn’t die, he just went to go set up the iCloud):
    Question: Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
    Answer: They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, the iPhone 4S didn’t have a Flash player installed!
  3. Steve Jobs funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every year in a slightly better coffin.
  4. Question: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
    Answer: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP.
  5. Question: Why won’t blondes take their iPhones to the bathroom?
    Answer: Because they don’t want to give away their IP address!
  6. Thinking of an iPhone 7 joke? Don’t worry. It’s just a slightly improved iPhone 6 joke.
  7. A piece of wisdom to meditate on: We live in a world where losing an iPhone is way more dramatic than losing your virginity.
  8. Question: What’s the difference between a Mac and an Etch-A-Sketch toy?
    Answer: You don’t have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.
  9. Why Chalk Slate is better than iPad. The big thing has always been here. Chalk Slate all the way!:
    iPad: 9.7” screen; single screen; retina display; 2048 x 1536 resolution; 264 pixels per inch; weight 650 gr; 9.4 mm thickness; 10 hour battery life; 16 GB storage; Black and white; price $499.
    Chalk Slate: 14.1” screen; Dual screen (front & back); Natural display; ∞ x ∞ resolution; ∞ pixels per inch; 150 gr; 4 mm thickness; Unlimited battery life; Unlimited storage; Black, white, brown or gray; Price – $2; unbreakable; flexible, Stylus (chalk); Misquite swatter; Eco-friendly; never gets outdated.
  10. Apple Fanboy: My new address – iStreet.
    Now I know all secrets of Mister Jobs
  11. Tim Cook reveals the new Apple’s strategy: Today we are launching the new Macbook Pro for $2999; new iMac for $1699; new Macbook Aire for $1299; new iMac for $1599; New iPad for $599; New iPad mini for $499; new iPod for $399, and new iPhone for $899. And we are launching a new scheme: If you do not have sufficient money to buy all these gadgets, we offer them in exchange of your house!
  12. A detailed step-by-step guide on “How to fix a Mac?” (source: Oatmeal)
    Step 1 – Take you Mac to an Apple store. – Did that fix it? Not? Proceed to step 2.
    Step 2 – Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account, Quietly weep.
  13. Three Apples that made the world: Eve’s Apple – at the world start; Newton’s Apple in 1687; Steve Job’s Apple in 1976, and the world changed.
  14. Question: How many Apple users does it take to change a light bulb.
    Answer: None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house!
  15. Question: How many Apple iPhone users does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: 3001. One to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
  16. Question: Why do we need a case for iPhone? Answer: It doesn’t help with reception, but protects the gadget when you throw it against the wall after dropping a call!
  17. Question: What if Samsung and Apple merge together… What will be the new company called? – Answer: Sample!
  18. Question: What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Answer: Dead Siri-ous.
  19. A piece of wisdom: My iPhone screen is brighter than my future.
  20. I don’t understand why everybody wants the white iPhone, Everyone knows the black one runs faster. Apple iPhone is 2nd best selling product of all time after Rubik’s Cube.
  21. My iPhone seems to be broke. I pressed the ‘home’ button but I’m still at school…
  22. If your iPhone is black and you’re making Siri do tasks for you you’re pretty much saying slavery was OK.
  23. Three iPhone engineers and three Android engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Android engineers notice that the iPhone engineers bought only one ticket between them. They ask the iPhone engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. “Watch and learn,” one of the opponents tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three iPhone engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says “ticket please!” The door opens a crack and one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Android engineers are impressed, and decide that’s what they will do on the trip back. Then on the return trip, the Android engineers notice that the iPhone engineers haven’t bought any tickets. “How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?” they ask. “Watch and learn,” is the answer. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Android engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the iPhone engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, “ticket please!” The door opens, the iPhone team grabs it and the three run to another restroom where they wait for a the control to pass.


Apple Engineer Talks about the New 2015 Macbook [Video]

Published by Armando Ferreira on March 11, 2015.


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